Charlie Miksicek, Ph.D. Anthropology
In the expanding corpus of academic and popular literature on divorce, there are relatively few books that deal explicitly with fathers. Sanford Braver's "Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths" debunks many commonly held beliefs about divorced fathers. "The Nurturing Father" by Kyle Pruett demonstrates the importance of fathers as caregivers. Judith Wallerstein's "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce" documents the problems that the children of divorce experience with relationships as adults as a result of not having fathers present as role models during their childhood. Steve Ashley's "Fathers Are Forever" is unique in that it presents divorce from a father's perspective. It also provides a guide for all fathers who want to remain a significant part of their children's lives after separation or divorce. Like members of any disenfranchised group, divorced dads have to work twice as hard as anyone else to be accepted as "just as good".
Charlie Miksicek
1-20-2001

CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Center of Santa Cruz County
September, 1999
To Whom It May Concern,
The Divorced Fathers' Network, of Santa Cruz, CA, [ founded by Steven Ashley, author of Fathers Are Forever, A Co-Parenting Guide for the 21st Century ] is an invaluable resource for separated parents who want to develop or maintain positive co-parenting relationships with their ex-partners. For the past several years I have served as a resource for DFN, providing communication and conflict resolution skills training to its members. During this time, I have consistently been impressed with the focus and commitment of the participants. It's clear that they are there because they love their kids, are committed to playing an active role in their sons' and daughters' lives, and are ready and willing to learn whatever they need to know in order to be effective as part-time single parents. Part support group, part training ground, DFN takes a practical, skill-based approach to working with its members. Steve Ashley, DFN's founder, has devoted many years to building a curriculum that includes all the essential components for success - from negotiating a workable co-parenting agreement to setting up a second home to understanding children's developmental needs. Clearly, the DFN serves a critical need in our community, and I'm happy to see the Network's expansion into other cities. Not only fathers, but mothers and children stand to benefit tremendously from the service. Sincerely,
Nancy Heischman
Program Director Conflict Resolution Center
People Talk, People Listen, Things Change.
783 Rio Del Mar Blvd. Suite 65
Aptos, California 95003

UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA EXTENSION. SANTA CRUZ
Dear Editor,
I am writing to recommend Steve Ashley's non-fiction book. "Fathers Are Forever" for publication. I have followed his progress as a writer for over five years and know him to be well-qualified and passionately involved in the book I am urging you to consider. Fathers... is essentially a "how-to" volume directed to divorced fathers. Steve, seeking to minimize the damage divorce causes children-and their parents-encourages men and women to work together to create a co-parenting relationship that benefits all concerned, emotionally and financially.

California-based Steve Ashley has lately been the subject of supportive radio and newspaper features for his work with a project called The Divorced Fathers Network (DFN). Steve is the founder and leader of this group which promises to become a nationwide, grass roots movement. At this time, it is estimated that there are over 200 DFN members in Santa Cruz alone. Steve and the men in his group have also been encouraged by the women in this area. Most want their ex-husbands to help with the raising of their children; The local Women's Crisis Center, for example, now refers men to the DFN.

Unlike the "experts," Steve Ashley invites divorced men to avoid the traditional divorce path, the one that leads to the dead-end commonly called "visitation." Men who attend his Divorced Fathers Network forgo adversarial attorneys and instead set out to create co-parenting arrangements by (a) honoring their own desires to parent and (b) setting out to learn the skills necessary to make their wishes reality. Most divorce attorneys and counselors do not them selves co-parent and for a variety of reasons are reluctant to encourage men to explore this option.

Steve himself is a divorced father who 13 years ago created a co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife. This arrangement allows him to share equally, 50/50, in the raising of his daughter, Stephany. Through his Divorced Fathers Network, Steve has helped hundreds of men to remain involved in their children's lives. In his book, Steve stresses the importance of peer counseling and provides practical suggestions to help divorced fathers overcome anger and loneliness. He addresses the needs men have to learn about family law and develop the communication and other skills that will be necessary to create co-parenting arrangements.
Yours sincerely,
Robert Sward, Author, Writing Program Instructor, University of California,
Santa Cruz, CA

Dean Ulmer
I recently purchased an audio copy of your book "Fathers are Forever", I listen to it daily during my commute to/from work. It has helped me w/ my feelings and emotions. And helped me just this morning express my views effective during a meeting with a counselor discussing my daughters school work. This was an important meeting w/ my ex-wife and counselor in order to get some of my visitation days back. Anyway, without all the details, it went GREAT! And I owe some of the success to the book, and understanding how to conduct myself better with my ex-wife and other professionals that affect my time w/ my kids!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Thanks,
Dean Ulmer